I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
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I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
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My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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