If that was your dad, he is hot
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
