we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
