How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It was like getting head from an anaconda
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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