i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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