I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
