she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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