Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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