Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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