Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
