He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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