My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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