just come out here and I will go home with you...
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
