I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
