Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
