stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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