There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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