it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
