I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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