I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize