I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
