chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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