my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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