once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
