I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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