Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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