Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
