She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
