I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
