thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
