i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
