Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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