I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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