you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
