in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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