your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
