I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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