I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
