I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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