Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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