brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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