did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
