NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
