I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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