thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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