The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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