somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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