3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize