btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
