i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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