It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize