Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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