Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
