I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
