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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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