Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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