is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize