then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
